Kirby, Meerkats part way with Rollins

The Bigs Report
Hedley Robinson

The Meerkats organization has parted with longtime shortstop and all-round Meerkat fan favorite, Jimmy Rollings. The Meerkats traded Rollins to non-contender Greenville Gaywads for Dustin Pedoria. Rollins, seen here during happier times on the phone with owner/manager Sam Kirby, has struggled the past two seasons. Kirby and Rollins had a falling out during the playoffs last year when Rollins managed only one hit, and one RBI. Afterwards Kirby harshly criticized Rollins in the Media. With the acquisition of Gordon Beckham, Kirby moved Rollins to shore up his deficiencies at second base, Pedoria fits the bill. Kirby acknowledge that it was hard to let him go, and that the Gaywads got a great deal, but "Sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war."
Brian Whitaker, owner of the Gaywads, welcomed Rollins with open arms and quickly invited Rollins to a "exclusive eyes wide shut" party. Whitaker also stated "This helps the Gaywads long term, and short term, really it helps us during any term"
Around the league Managers were quietly surprised by the trade and some behind close doors have mentioned "Kirby makes Billy Bean look like Simple Jack." Missing out on the trade, The Really Stevens were said to have been offered Rollins for Chone Figgins and Wandy Rodriques but declined the offer. Fans in Salem are calling for Lawrences immediate dismissal.
With the trade deadline looming one wonders what else Kirby has up his sleeve. Other teams have more problem they will need to address. The Baton Rouge Biscuit have a definite need for a arm and some bullpen help. The Richmond Boozehounds are a house of cards and will need to shore up some defensive help and pick up some speed. The Oxford Otters should be sellers, as it's unlikely they'll make the playoffs. League badboy and all-around dick, JP Vinson of the Rebel Rousers has publicly stated that he is after a strong average at first base and will listen to all offers on his penis. The Greenville Gaywads started the bidding for Vinson's penis with Scott Rolen, but was quickly outbid by Andy Harrison and the Boozehounds (Jose Lopez). That is all from around the BIGs.