Whales Fall: Biscuits Steamrolling Towards Playoffs

Baton Rouge - Robert Allen Stanford

With four weeks left in the season, our hometown Biscuits and manager Joey Abel are trying to leave the dramatics to another team. After topping the Whales this past week for their 5th straight win, they just might get their wish. Over the years, the Biscuits have had their share of late-season drama and hope to avoid that by continuing their winning streak this week over PhillinPhine. Who can forget the dream push and playoff run of 2007, when the resilient club squeaked into the playoffs with the bottom seed only to knock off the top three seeds in order to claim the Bigs trophy, which ironically was never in Abel's possession. That run included victories over both the Boozehounds and an unforgettable world series win over the Rousers, both of whom are virtual locks for this season's playoffs. The then #2 seed, Washington Whales, who were knocked out by the Biscuits in the 2007 NLCS, fell this past week to a balanced Biscuits club. Abel, who's latest victory party was an "under-the-sea" theme, perhaps a jab at Washington's marine mascot, was hard to reach for comment as he was seen in full scuba gear "jello-wrestling" with the same woman seen in a previous photograph performing the "ratchet." The woman, originally believed to be a member of the Kirby family, is still unidentified.

If the present success continues, this will be the Biscuits first trip back to the playoffs since that World Championship. 2008 was a roller-coaster ending with a still disputed tie with the Oxford Otters, and the Otters getting the last spot on a technicality. It doesn't look like the Otters will challenge again this year after an 11-3 clubbing by the Cream last week. Otters manager Altizer was visibly shaken at the week's press conference. When asked how this season has been, he repeated through sobs, "bittersweet....more sweet than bitter...bitter than sweet."

In other news around the league, the MeerBats lost a heart breaker to the puttering Power Rods. This was coupled with the trading of all-star shortstop Jimmy Rollins and the increasingly vocal calls for his resignation as Bigs GM at the end of the season. As the new manager union president and Bigs PR rep, Abel has been receiving messages from various clubs. Andy Lawrence, manager of the Stevens, called Abel and requested that the last place team receive the first 14 draft picks along with a "open-mouth kiss from the 3rd place team, a 'bubbly jumbler' from the 2nd place team, and a 'white dragon' from the champion." It was unclear exactly what a "bubbbly jumbler", and a "white dragon" are, but Abel assured the AP that we did not want to know. Rousers skipper JP Vinson sent Abel a hand written note on what appeared to be a napkin from the Clermont Lounge simply saying, "boobie-tassles" followed by a smiley-face. In addition, he received two anonymous messages, one of which called for a US invasion of South Korea, and the other was 17 minutes of heavy breathing and what appeared to be a sheep in the background. The origins of the messages are being investigated by authorities, and Abel hopes they won't be a distraction as the Biscuits look to stay focused on the match this week and staying on track for the playoffs.