A Snoozer in Hanover

The BIGS Insider
Billy Grant

Hanover, Va--Tuesday--Things aren't really heating up in Hanover, Va this week where the Hanover Habaneros and the Dromedary Toes are deadlocked in a 3-3 tie two days into their 7 day series. "Somebody claw my eyes out please," a fan yelled during the 7th inning stretch Tuesday night, "this is like watching bowling!"

Tied at 2 runs and 6 hits a piece after 2 days there isn't much to get excited about in Habanero Hacienda Park. Tuesday night cameras caught Toes manager Mike Richards sleeping during a pivotal point in the game. Richards refused to comment about the incident. BIGS commissioner, Sam Kirby is reviewing the incident and might levy a fine later this week.

But don't count out the 6th placed Habaneros or the 8th placed Toes, both won major blowouts over the Gaywads and Rousers last week. "We are working out our legs," Habaneros manager Justin Brittle tweeted today, "we got on base so much against the Gaywads it made Whitaker look like a slut."

There is also much on the line for the Habaneros and Toes who both are flirting with missing the playoffs this year. No one needs to make it more than the historically terrible Habaneros who moved and changed their name after an embarrassing season last year. "They were 79.5 games out of first place last year," The Cream manager Nick Grey said today, "that makes the 2009 Really Stevens look like the '04 Meerkats."

Tonight will be "Hooters and Ephedra Night" at the Hacienda and all fans over 21 can take body shots off of Hooters girls. "We are hoping to get more people out tonight who will stay awake," Habaneros PR manager Jimmy Vaudeville said in a press conference today, "body shots and ephedra are Hanover Country traditions."