Biscuits Roll: Playoff Race Heats Up

Baton Rouge - AP Contributing Writers

After a roller-coaster of a week, the Biscuits stuck a dagger into Philadelphia this week to win their sixth straight and perhaps cement a place in the 2009 playoffs. The door to the top 3 seeds was also opened slightly as all 3 teams were handed lopsided losses. Abel, reached for comment after the win but before his rocky-themed victory party, stated "if I can change...and you can change...everybody can change!" This unified sentiment was echoed by PhillinPhine manager Ethan Simcox as well as evidenced by both his comments and his actions. Simcox was quoted after the loss saying, "What can I say, he had the eye of the tiger, man. The edge!" Simcox, who was beaten down like Tommy Gunn in Rocky V, also revealed a new tattoo, seen here, as a homage to Abel and his Biscuits club.

Abel, who is not Italian, but has been called "the stallion" a number of times by Sam Kirby's mother, has made a reputation around the league as a scrapper and has been connected to amazing feats. Otters manager and former Bigs Commish Whit Altizer was quoted in 2007 as saying, "Sometimes I can't even believe the bull**** this guy pulls out of his a**...One time he actually convinced me to bob for apples in a toilet bowl...and like it." Abel has also told a number of other managers that they play baseball "like a girl." Abel is also rumored to have kissed Wendy Peppercorn on the lips on a number of occasions.

What is for certain is that since the All-Star break, Abel and the Biscuits have managed to put opposing clubs in the "biggest pickle of their lives," and they hope to continue that success against the Gaywads, who have all but given up in 2009, yet managed to trade second baseman Dustin Pedroia to the contending Martinsville Fearcats. The MareCats, who have never placed better than 3rd in the Bigs, which was way back in 2006 put their hopes on the backside of slugger Albert Pujols, who has failed to meet second half expectations thus far. Despite failure year after year, Kirby remains one of the most vocal mangers and may have bitten off more than even his big mouth can chew this week against a strong Rousers team. Rousers manager, JP Vinson was reported this week calling Kirby "a strange little lady-boy" that needs to "actually produce before spouting off." Whatever happens this week, a lot of questions should be answered.