More of the Same: Boozehounds top, Stevens drop

Billy Grant
The Bigs Insider



Richmond---The Bigs standings look all to familar to fans this week as the Richmond Boozehounds find themselves back in first place and the Really Stevens drop to last place. "It's as if the Stevens are wearing cement shoes," Hanover manager Justin Brittle said this week, "and decided to jump in the deep-end."

And sink they have. After only 2 weeks of games they have fallen to an impossible 14 games behind. It isn't so much that they suck that infuriates the Star City but more that they weren't ever suppose to suck that really chaps the city's collective ass.

The Really Stevens' fans have been wearing this image on t-shirts of a snake-oil salesman with "Run 'em out of town" written below after falling to 14 games behind interstate rival the Boozehounds.

Hailed as a baseball genius by all in the Stevens inaugural season, Allen Lawrence has failed to produce a strong ball club in Roanoke in 5 years. "He dupped us all," Roanoke Times sports editor Donny Beamer said, "Lawrence blew into town like a snake oil salesmen but hasn't fled with the cash. He's still trying to convice the people that his stuff works!" The Stevens are hoping for some kind of magic this week to keep there small lead over the rookie-laden Short Pump Sativa.

Just a few hours northeast in Richmond, manager Andy Harrison continues his ride at the top of the Bigs. "What can I say," Harrison said in his usual smug tone, "I make the calls, but my players make the plays." But Harrison, only two question later, contradicted himself while slamming his former prep school classmate Allen Lawrence. "Can I take credit for Timmy's 4-0 start, 43Ks and 1.27 ERA? No," Harrison said, "But I can't say he would have done the same under Lawrence's command either."

Meanwhile the Kia Otters have looked strong and unfazed by the extreme time difference from most Bigs teams now finding themselves in 2nd place only a half game out. "We're living by the Korean proverb "After three years at a village schoolhouse, even a dog can recite a poem," Otters manager Whit Altizer said to Korean media this week, "we are practicing hard and licking our wounds."

Korean girl band the Wonder Girls threw out the first pitch at a Kia Otters game Wednesday night.

Korea is just now starting to come to terms with losing their star player to an American team. "It was a big blow to Korea to not get Choo that's a fact," Altizer said this week, "but after many burned effigy's and plenty of spitting in the direction of Baton Rouge our fans have found temporary peace with the disrespect shown to them." Though the Otters fans are content now, there is still an uncurrent of rage toward the Biscuits and manager Abel. The true test will come when the Biscuits and Otters meet in week 7. According to VP of Bigs Affairs Andy Harrison the Biscuits will be traveling with the Baton Rouge militia to Korea.