In Search of Hope in an Under .500 City

Billy Grant
The Bigs Insider


Hanover- John Dixon wakes every morning and raises his Hanover Habaneros flag up the flag pole that rises from the middle of his immaculate rock garden in his manicured front yard, a tradition he has kept for three years now. "The Habaneros make my world go round," Dixon said stoically before swallowing a bitter pill, "but one more month of this and I'll have to shift my support to the Short Pump Sativa."

Dixon like many others in Hanover County, Virginia rise, fall and stumble with the Habaneros, but have found they are nearing the end of their rope with Skipper Justin Brittle and his losing record. "I know it's early," Dixon said, "but this is just another chapter in a bad book with no plot twists, just more of the same. This guy couldn't lead a fly to a turd."


The Habaneros find themselves in the under .500 club this May with hated rival the Baton Rouge Biscuits, and interstate rivals the Dromedary Toes and the Really Stevens. In these other cities one will find the same angry and frustrated fans like John Dixon.

In Baton Rouge this week Biscuits fans united with Korean-Americans in anti-Abel rallies that have united Korean populations around the world. "What Abel has done to USA-Korea relations is wrong," Peter Gammons said this week, "but what he has done to Baton Rouge is criminal." Peggy Noonan of the Baton Rouge Bee called Abel "Hurricane Abelina" in a column this week saying that Abel's managing has done to the Biscuits what Katrina did to New Orleans in 2005. "He's flooding our fair city with bad baseball," Noonan wrote, "and his emergency response? Send for Doug Fister."

But the ray of hope still shines bright for these under .500 cities. "There is no doubt Mike Richards has no business managing," said Roanoke resident Forrest Livingston III, "but at least he is giving that no-good Allen Lawrence a run for his money."

Roanoke hasn't seen much success since the Gaywads left for Greenville a few years ago. It has gotten so bad in Roanoke that many fans are now nostalgic for Brian Whitaker and the Gaywads. "Wow," Whitaker said in response from his secluded Greenville home.

Meanwhile, further north John Dixon continues to raise his Habaneros flag with it lifting his hopes that he won't have to become a Sativa fan anytime soon. "I hope to wake up from this nightmare soon," Dixon said, "but for now I'll take comfort in the fact that we are a game and a half ahead of Joey Abel and a run ahead of the Meerkats."