Ippy Nash
When asked if he was happy with a 7-7 split with the Boozehounds this week, Biscuits manager Joey Abel replied, " Andy (Harrison) bobs for apples in toilets...and LIKES IT!" Abel was pressed by reporters for rational responses to the myriad of questions surrounding a Biscuits team that is playing below .500 so far this year, but all they received were quotes from The Sandlot. Abel went on to say things about a pickle, the beast, P.F. Flyers, and was especially concerned about not being able to have some more of nothing. Hopefully a bout against Whitney Altizer and the rival Otters can right the Biscuits' ship and help Abel regain his composure at the helm.
The Kia Otters, formerly the Oxford Otters, after starting the season 3-0 are currently in a skid after losing their second straight this past week and there are some serious questions swirling around Altizer and the Otters from top to bottom. Kia executives, who have typical asian like expectations for perfection, are demanding a better showing and the Korean public are demanding Altizer make a trade for or pick up a Korean born player. The only thing that has kept the organization from folding is a united hatred for Biscuit manager Joey Abel. It has been well documented that Abel drafted Korean hero Sin Choo Choo very early, perhaps only to spite Altizer and the Otters. Thousands will gather in Korea this week to watch the matchup between these clubs, and Abel has taken steps to drum up some hype here in the states. He has set up a jumbo-tron in Oxford Mississippi, who hates Altizer more than black people for taking the team overseas.
Fortunately for the Biscuits, the Otters players are performing about as well as Sam Kirby did on his wedding night. Most notably, Otters closer and captain Mariano Rivera blew a save last week when he gave up a grand slam to Really Stevens outfielder Jason Kubel. The last time that happened, Ronald Reagan was in office, and Rivera seen below following that game, was 16. If the Biscuits can put together a complete performance, this rival may turn into a blowout
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