Rapid Report

MASSIVE TRADE BETWEEN KIRBY AND ALTIZER SENDS VOTTO TO MEERKATS...BLUE TACO TRUCK STILL MISSING WITH KIRBY WHO REFUSES TO START #3B or CATCHER...TOM WHITT SEEN SNIFFING AROUND JAMILE WEEKS LOCKER...JOEY ABEL asking about Choo

Monday, July 27, 2009

Day 4: Kirby and Altizer reach stalemate

Former friends, now foes agree to disagree

Gwangju, South Korea-AP-The South Korean Bigs Summit ended today on a more sour note than hoped for by both parties. Unable to come to terms on the 2010 Bigs drug testing, draft and trading policies current commissioner Sam Kirby and former commissioner Whit Altizer adjourned the 2009 Korean Bigs Summit. They smiled, shook hands and parted ways at Incheon Airport this morning with little accomplished. They did schedule an informal meeting in Virginia in early October. It is believed that they will hash out more details about the 2010 season.

There were major achievements among all the chaos of this summit. Andy Harrison was offered and accepted the Vice President of the Bigs Baseball Operations, Whit Altizer took the helm of Bigs PR and Joey Abel will be the official liaison with the Bigs Union and managers. But people will probably remember more about what was not accomplished than what actually was in this summit.

"We are highly disappointed that no consensus was reached on what to do with silent owners," Kirby said on his way through customs, "Whit just was asking too much." Kirby also expressed disappointment with being unable to construct a trade between the Otters and the Meerkats. Kirby confessed that he needed A and Altizer could only offer Z. "It was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole," Kirby said, "try as we might, we just could hardly agree on anything." For Altizer's part he said, "I refuse to offer one of my players as an olive branch. Kirby wanted to make our meeting look peaceful, but I'll be damned if Cano is going to be our peace pipe. Such a smoke is just going to have to wait."

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