Biscuits Rise Again

Baton Rouge - AP contributing writers

With the business of the BIGS 2009 Summit coming to a close, the front page news from the BIGS now has to be the outstanding play of our hometown Biscuits. Coming of there 4th straight win, the Biscuits go into Washington for a seven day road trip against the Whales. Since the heartbreaking loss to the MereCaps in week 8, the Biscuits have gone 6-2 and vaulted themselves into 4th place overall. Defying preseason expectations, the Biscuits have overachieved with most of the credit going to manager Joey Abel. The always humble Abel however put it into perspective at a recent press conference, saying "I've just gotta give all the credit to the guys that go out there and put it all on the line night after night."

Some around the league however attribute it to Abel's Billy Madison-esque parties after each weekly win. Seen above next to staff ace Javier Vasquez at his latest bash, Abel and other party-goers were entertained by Big Head Todd and the Monsters. There is also an unsubstantiated report that the woman seen in the background doing the "ratchet" is a member of the Kirby family as evidenced by her behavior and unsightly tan line. Sam Kirby was unable to be reached for comment.

Another incident reported from the celebration was a man hopping on stage during the performance of Big Head Todd's smash hit "Bittersweet," and attempting to grab the microphone before being maced by security guards. Initial reports describe the man as matching the physical description of Whit Altizer, an admitted Big Head Todd fanatic. Abel remarked, "Do I think it was Whitney, hell i hope not. Would it surprise me...not one bit. That guy once told me he gave Big Todd a hummer and a handsky to every one of the Monsters."

Abel is hoping to ride their recent wave of success all the way to the postseason, but it looks like the road will have to go through Martinsville, who face off against the Biscuits in the final week of the regular season. Abel however is focusing on each day as it comes, saying "All I'm thinking about is making Bergmann my bitch, just like Harrison, Brittle, Vinson, and whoever manages the Cream."