Kirby Forcefully Removed, League In Downward Spiral?

George Papadapolis
Baseball Weekly


Late last night and into early this morning there were shots fired in the BIGs commissioners’ Martinsville office. Early reports are that four managers were shot and killed. Rebel forces are acting on the behalf of Richmond Boozehound’s owner Andy Harrison. Harrison and the rebel forces are reportable upset at the direction of the league. Reporters are now calling this "Coup de Andy." Kirby was forcefully removed from office early this morning. He [Kirby] has now been placed under control of Harrison’s henchmen on Robbin Island. The KA fraternity henchmen had no comment. Kirby, obviously cannot be reached for comment. Speculation is running wild, and early discussion have the Meerkats competing regardless of how this all shakes out. Baton Rouge Biscuits owner Joe Abel commented, “fuck em, fuck em all, Harrison rebels, commissioner, otters, satchels, pats, fuckidity etc, fuck. I can’t wait to draft; this is seriously some USSR shite I’ve drafted three teams and three drafts have been forfeited. Granted all three teams sucks, but stop pulling the rug off my head, er out from under me.”
More news when it breaks, but for now, the league is in flux-Harrison is in control and it is this reporter’s opinion that while the current managers are quiet now, in a month they will be screaming to reinstate Kirby. In other news, Tom Whitt was seen holding talking to a high school shortstop.