Statement

The Portland Pats organization would like to offer a public apology to Justin Rodgers and his family. We sincerely hated to let go of that fat bastard Francisco, but due to private team matters, it needed to be done.

Thankfully, our colleagues in the Meerkats organization have found a spot for Frank and his bloated ERA in their bullpen. I would hope that Mr. Kirby honors Frank's commitment to Justin's cause and continues to donate funds after his immanent failures.

Sincerely,

the first place team... er, Portland Pats