Norman Dale (Lou Brown is on assignment)
The Martinsville Bulletin
The town of Martinsville held an impromptu meeting at the local church to decide the fate of Manager Sam Kirby. On the docket was the dismissal of Kirby. The Meerkats are 51% owned by the citizens of Martinsville, and 49% by Kirby, a vote in the majority would remove Kirby as manager of the Meerkats, The meeting had a fanatical pace with public outcry and public support but the meeting was quickly overrun by when “Bitches ain’t nothing but Ho’s and Shit” blared over the church’s loudspeakers for the weekly “Radical Fearless and Sanctified Hip Hop Sunday”
The meeting was rescheduled for the Dixie Pig, but quickly ended when Albert Pujols descended from an escalator in the sky and simply said “I play, coach stays. He goes, I go.”
After two easy victories Kirby and Meerkats have fallen on hard times and most recently a loss to bitter rival the Rebel Rousers. This recent downturn has not eased the mind of the Martinsvillites. Kirby has gained fame and fortune through his eccentric methods, once having Albert Pujols hit live doves shot out of a pitching machine to mimic a knuckle baller. Often aloof and short tempered with the press, Kirby has become only more eccentric. Kirby has had a checkered past with the Meerkats, winning the inaugural season in the BIGs and taking them to the playoffs each and every year, sans one, but the 2nd championship Martinsville seeks has been held just out of reach. Twice the Meekats have lost in the playoffs by 1 run, both times to the eventual BIGs Champion. This has not helped the former great city of Martinsville cheer their team. Martinsville is no longer the furniture giant and has fewer tangible successes to cheer. One of the only jewels left is the Meerkats.
Beautiful Hooker field was torn down
four years ago to make way for Wakefield Park. Wakefield as you know brought Kirby and Martinsville their first and only BIGs trophy. Kirby has long since preached that his team is too coddled with the new ballpark, not tough enough and in his eccentric method managed to alienate Meerkat players with hardships like removing the butter from the peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches, removing individual chairs and adding benches and most famously, he made former Meerkat Jimmy Rollins walk to Salem to face the Stevens. Kirby has always preached team ball, but lately he has the entire team sleeping in the same room.
Pujol's proclamation may of ended the discussion for Kirby at the moment, but this week against the Habeneros is crucial for Morale. Kirby could not be reached for comment, but sources inside the Meerkat's clubhouse say that Kirby hasn't changed his ways. John Kruk of the BIGs network had some strong words for the Meerkat Nation "I really don't understand this uprising, Kirby has done nothing but bring winning season after winning season, playoffs after playoffs, he's turned a small town into a dominant presence in the BIGs. Take a look at other managers, not even the Allen Lawrences of the league, but the Altizer, the dude barely makes the playoffs once at of every three years, moves the team to Korea, jesus how does he still have a job. Look at Baton Rouge...half those players Abel selected in the draft wouldn't make the starting roster of the Meerkats. Don't get me even started on JP Vinson, that guy is a real hack. I'm not saying Kirby is a genius, but he manages to have his team in the playoffs year after year."
The Martinsville Bulletin
The town of Martinsville held an impromptu meeting at the local church to decide the fate of Manager Sam Kirby. On the docket was the dismissal of Kirby. The Meerkats are 51% owned by the citizens of Martinsville, and 49% by Kirby, a vote in the majority would remove Kirby as manager of the Meerkats, The meeting had a fanatical pace with public outcry and public support but the meeting was quickly overrun by when “Bitches ain’t nothing but Ho’s and Shit” blared over the church’s loudspeakers for the weekly “Radical Fearless and Sanctified Hip Hop Sunday”
The meeting was rescheduled for the Dixie Pig, but quickly ended when Albert Pujols descended from an escalator in the sky and simply said “I play, coach stays. He goes, I go.”
After two easy victories Kirby and Meerkats have fallen on hard times and most recently a loss to bitter rival the Rebel Rousers. This recent downturn has not eased the mind of the Martinsvillites. Kirby has gained fame and fortune through his eccentric methods, once having Albert Pujols hit live doves shot out of a pitching machine to mimic a knuckle baller. Often aloof and short tempered with the press, Kirby has become only more eccentric. Kirby has had a checkered past with the Meerkats, winning the inaugural season in the BIGs and taking them to the playoffs each and every year, sans one, but the 2nd championship Martinsville seeks has been held just out of reach. Twice the Meekats have lost in the playoffs by 1 run, both times to the eventual BIGs Champion. This has not helped the former great city of Martinsville cheer their team. Martinsville is no longer the furniture giant and has fewer tangible successes to cheer. One of the only jewels left is the Meerkats.
Beautiful Hooker field was torn down
four years ago to make way for Wakefield Park. Wakefield as you know brought Kirby and Martinsville their first and only BIGs trophy. Kirby has long since preached that his team is too coddled with the new ballpark, not tough enough and in his eccentric method managed to alienate Meerkat players with hardships like removing the butter from the peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches, removing individual chairs and adding benches and most famously, he made former Meerkat Jimmy Rollins walk to Salem to face the Stevens. Kirby has always preached team ball, but lately he has the entire team sleeping in the same room.Pujol's proclamation may of ended the discussion for Kirby at the moment, but this week against the Habeneros is crucial for Morale. Kirby could not be reached for comment, but sources inside the Meerkat's clubhouse say that Kirby hasn't changed his ways. John Kruk of the BIGs network had some strong words for the Meerkat Nation "I really don't understand this uprising, Kirby has done nothing but bring winning season after winning season, playoffs after playoffs, he's turned a small town into a dominant presence in the BIGs. Take a look at other managers, not even the Allen Lawrences of the league, but the Altizer, the dude barely makes the playoffs once at of every three years, moves the team to Korea, jesus how does he still have a job. Look at Baton Rouge...half those players Abel selected in the draft wouldn't make the starting roster of the Meerkats. Don't get me even started on JP Vinson, that guy is a real hack. I'm not saying Kirby is a genius, but he manages to have his team in the playoffs year after year."
2010 could prove to be a big year in the BIGs for Kirby and the Meerkats. A championship season is still in the cards...and that's all that Meerkat Nation can ask for.
Meerkat Nation needs to crawl back in the hole from which they came.
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