AROUND THE HORN-WEDDING STYLE

Andy Harrison got married over the weekend and in perfect harmony hosted a BIGs meeting. Allen Lawrence managed to show up even though his team hasn't all year. The Salem's Stevens are in danger of winning less than .30% of their games, that would be a first in the BIGs. As you can imagine Lawrence is on the hot seat in Salem.

Former BIGs manager Brian Whitaker was also in attendance. Early discussion involved him becoming a owner again but talks stalled around a 400 foot pool he could fill with Mountain Dew. He is still a boob and after one title still holds the BIGs Crystal hostage.

Rouser and Habeneros had the best game of the week. Rouser squeaked out a 1 run victory in the ninth. JP Vinson had this to say "Brittle, god love the guy, but Cordero f'd him...and I'll take that any day of the week." It was definitely a tough road loss for Brittle who for the first time has his team headed to the playoffs.

The Pats love Canada and it showed. They traveled to New Brunswick and managed to treat the bluejays like blueballs. Todd Smith spoke in perfect french when he said "yes, yes. the pen in on the table."

Can you hear that sound? Yes the heartbreaking sound, the tears hitting the ground? That is the hopes and dreams of one nation being crushed by the American "stoneballs" of Joey Abel. News out of Gwanjiu was obviously hard on Altizer and for the record "Shin-Soo Choo now has "stoneballs" as no Korean will ever sleep with him again and therefore never have children." Choo managed to hit 2 HRs and bat .346 against his heartland, but it was his runs and RBIs that did in the Otters.

Mike Richards and the Dromedary Toes tells Tom Whitt and his youngsters to get off his lawn with an easy victory over the Short Pump Sativa. Whitt was schedule to attend Harrison's wedding/trade negotiations but was a no-show after the registration he was ridiculed endlessly over his love of "young talent" .

And finally the Martinsville Meerkats refused to sign the guestbook at Andy Harrison's wedding. Harrison scheduled the wedding to coincide with the Meerkats/Boozehounds grudge match. Horrible planning on Harrison's part as the Meerkats rubbed the Boozehounds face all through the cake, easily winning 9-4, moving the Kats to 2nd place.