Altizer leaves Korea, Kia Otters stay behind

Billy Grant

The Bigs Insider

Gwangju, SK- After eight seasons at the helm of the Otters, Whit Altizer has called it quits. "It's time to move on," Altizer said from Martinsville, Virginia today, "it's kind of like Sam Kirby's corduroys, it just isn't 2004 anymore." But unlike Kirby's unwillingness to send his cords to Goodwill, Altizer could not envision another season with the Otters. "I wish them well in the Korean league, I hope they choke on bad kimchi."

After the Earth-shattering move from Oxford to South Korea that many likened to the Dodgers moving out of Brooklyn to LA, the Otters will stay put in Gwangju. Altizer has reportedly taken a job with the expansion team the Chattanooga Satchels.

"This is a sad day for the Bigs," VP of Player Personnel Justin Brittle said today, "we lose the Blue Jays and the Otters in one fell swoop." Dubbed the "Great Castration" by foreign press, the Bigs will look to longtime Bigs teams the Biscuits and Meerkats. "We're scrambling for a publicity stunt," Commish Sam Kirby stated today, "with Abel coming out of the offseason we know one is just around the corner."